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I begin this correspondence with much on my mind, as you will soon read.

First, how could I have waited until my 53rd year of life to read authors Charlotte Bronte, Jane Austen, Jean Rhys, and Virginia Woolf?

Second, and obscurely related to the above, today, I drafted a flyer for a November Sufi workshop The Sufi Heart of Life. So how do those 2 relate; British women authors and Sufism? I sat in deep thought pondering this as I considered how I could use this approach teaching a Sufi workshop.

My strange yet poignant links of thought are interrupted by Jasmine, my 28-year-old daughter, who has asked me to read her college paper on The Effect of Music and Background Noise for her psychology class. I must say the paper is extremely interesting which says that a person needs to train oneself to hear a speech clearly while musical background noise is present. I am familiar with this concept as a teacher, musician, dancer and dance leader. The psychology theory is, that if one becomes proficient to think clearly with distractions, we have attained or have a high level of intelligence.

I will compare this to everyday life. Is the concept above related also to doing a variety of different tasks while thinking clearly for all of them, much as I am multi-tasking my way through this afternoon? I read her paper, continue to write this, stop to cut onions, garlic, bok choy, zucchini, carrots, basil for a hearty soup, while taking a moment in between to throw a log in my wood stove on this cold, rainy, fall day. Could they be compared? Yes.

In addition, thoughts appear of my upcoming class on the first 4 lines of the Aramaic Lord’s Prayer, the formation of the Abwoon Choir, and compare the similarities of Jesus and Virginia Woolf.

Our guide in AILP, Neil (Saadi), has, at times, said Jesus was a woman in a man’s body. Virginia Woolf in her book, A Room of One’s Own, writes that androgyny, or the integration of both masculine and feminine is essential. Jean Rhys, in Wide Sargasso Sea, says how she will be for her man “as wise as the serpent, and as tender as a dove.”

How can I integrate the teachings of 2 men, Jesus and Neil, into the body of a woman, me? Aha! I know what to do: it is time to get inside the character and insides of the man and practice Tasawwuri to imagine what they feel, and be inspired by their imagination to feel mine. This clarity of what to do comes immediately, with remembrance of the word Tasawwuri, a Sufi practice, but connect it to seeing the results of this practice in the documentary Shakespeare Behind Bars, where prisoners (all men) take on the characters in a Shakespeare play (including the roles of women) to understand their own minds more fully and to practice mercy and compassion (ir Rahman ir Rahim) by feeling the character and feelings of another (like those of the women they murdered). Well, then this film characterizes Sufi practices !

Yesterday, I watched a guitar instructional video on playing the Blues. The instructor consistently mentions names of other guitarists from whom he learned the techniques he was about to teach us. Hmmmm……..I often do this when I am teaching dances. For example, this dance comes from so and so in Germany, this comes from my teacher, Saadi, that dance from Sabira in Brazil, and etc………..It affirms the acknowledgement of teachers, as the guitar teacher in the video, as Virginia Woolf mentions Jane Austen and the Bronte sisters, and Neil mentions authors who have inspired him.

I will make a bold statement. The wholeness of self: human, emotional, mental and spiritual, comes from many sources: Hochma’s table, so to speak, using our Peace Dances and AILP group’s lingo. A person not related to the latter groups mentioned may innocently ask, who or what is Hochma? Is it a hook you would hang your mother up on? I would explain what it means, thus, spreading the Word and general understanding of the term to someone who is hearing it for the first time. And, in return, I learn a Blues riff, so I can sing the Blues in the cozy comfort and safety of my soul.

The person to whom I have just taught Hochma, can now contemplate for years as I have, the idea of inviting all aspects of onesself to a table, to have a one way conversation with the question of who exactly am I at this table of myself?

And, me, I will spend years learning the one Blues riff on the guitar that they taught me.

Balanced. Giving and Receiving.

At the same time during all of the above, a cord of split pine is being stacked under the eaves of my home by a beautiful young man to keep my home warm and cozy during the cold days and nights. The wood, not the man, will keep me cozy, by the way, for better or worse.

Conclusion 1, tested and confirmed: I can listen to a speech with music and background noise and understand what the speech is about, therefore, I must have some highish level of intelligence.

Conclusion 2: Relating Jasmine’s college psychology paper to our intimate group and comparing also multi-tasking, we teachers, dancers, musicians and dance leaders must have an extremely high level of intelligence because not only can we clearly understand a speech, listen to a melody, learn the melody, learn the words and meaning of a strange, foreign, lingual phrase, with music and noise in the background, but we also accomplish a good number of tasks simultaneously, like do the grapevine step to the right and send off love, peace, harmony and beauty, to a billion or more sentient beings.

Just wanted to share a real part of me and a few thoughts on this gray, then sunny, then rainy, gray, sunny, rainy day, where anything can change at anytime.

Jasmine forewarned me that her next college paper would be on Sociology and Bureaucracy. Hopefully, I will read it on a good day where my humor can be accessed easily. It will be interesting to read the take on it from a 28 year old, still somewhat innocent and new to the world, from her mother’s point of view. Yet, her innocent perspective may soften my heart and help me change my current cynical one.

The soup is ready. Jasmine’s at the table. Better join that aspect of myself. She has had 2 bowls now. No complaints. Good sign. No Sufi breath practice needed. I smile and eat.

Much love from the crazy woman in the attic,

Grace Marie